Good news finally :)

Tomorrow I am signing the contract for my new job! Made it! In August I start as Web editor in public service, in a regional unit with 4000 employees. I am very lucky, and very happy and thankful!

The situation at work and all we have had to go through these last months have take so much of my attention, all day and night, and now I can relax a bit. Feels good!

 

 

A speed bump, not a whole in the ground

To sum up:

I didn’t loose my job this time, maybe later…(!)
I am loosing two good colleagues in a company that is making lots of money, they are being made redundant.
I gave in to my neck/head pain yesterday and got sick leave from my GP, who said I should have come two weeks ago.
My psychiatrist worries about my parasomni, and thinks I might do something stupid in my sleep, I have been sleepwalking… (feels stupid).
I have restocked on pain meds, sleep meds, sleep cycle meds and deep-sleep-relaxing meds. Feels reassuring.
It rained too much today for cycling, (which I shouldn’t do anyway because of the pain). But I will tomorrow!

I turned up the music and danced, as I cooked dinner for me and my husband.

I love to dance. Soon I will be happy again.

🙂

speedBump

Happy! Dancing! Singing!

I guess my popularity in the office is rapidly dropping. I lost my great big office, which I shared with another person, because on of the bosses needed all the space, (perhaps to store his ego…). So we had to move to an open landscape solution thing. I got to keep my desk, which I can raise and lower, and I usually stand quite much during the day.

And since there are quite a bit of noise, I listen to music! And dance.

And sometimes I forget about where I am, and sing. Oooops!

DiscoDancing

Sometimes I sense people looking at me, and wonder how long they have been standing there. Then I just laugh. They should try dancing a bit too, maybe they’ll fell better.

It shouldn’t really be like this now. I might loose my job, several hundred will, in my company. This is a stressing situation, for all, me too.

We never think about the decision we take to be sad, mad, angry, we just get into that mood. Did you know you can decide this yourself? I decide to be happy. The things I cannot change can be left somewhere else.

I might as well dance. And sing. I have this one in my head, from Pharrell Williams.

Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,
Well, give me all you got, and don’t hold back, yeah,
Well, I should probably warn you I’ll be just fine, yeah,
No offense to you, don’t waste your time
Here’s why
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do

Saturday is fun day :)

saturdayI hate being serious. I really do. At work, everyone is trying to impress, thinking only into the correct box. The one that gets attention from management.
What a boring life!
For me, laughs and fun stuff is an important part of every day at work. (And of course after working hours). That way, I hardly ever get stressed out or feel bad. However looking at my colleagues sometimes make me feel a bit sad.
I had the yearly talk with my boss a few weeks back. She is great:) We get along very well, and she always appreciates what I do. And says so. We talked, about tasks, responsibility, birthday cakes (I have taken the responsibility for our department’s celebrations, of course) and about thinking in patterns. I said I know I am usually less serious and always sort of thinking out of the box. She said: ‘No. You are not thinking out of the box, you have a totally different set of boxes than anyone else’.
That made my day. I work in a creative department in an international company. With enough room for colours and craziness. 🙂
But today, no work, just fun. What to do?

(btw: I shall try to return here more often!)

Just to let you know

I am still here.
Still me.
Life’s good!
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When I stopped blogging here, it felt finished. I can’t imagine ever writing about all this stuff again, I can’t even read. It is like when you travel away from somewhere, go on a plane, and never plan to return. I remember places I have lived, things I have seen or done… I remember all bad things that happened to me. But I have left that place where only those things were present. Moved out.

Keeping on being happy

New Year Fireworks, Athens

New Year Fireworks, Athens (Photo credit: RobW_)


I am basically happy. I used to be:

  • sad
  • unmotivated
  • stressed out
  • desperate
  • impatient
  • worried

Those feelings used to own me. It is not like that anymore. I don’t go around all day with a big smile or anything, well, maybe some days. 🙂 And I feel good and calm. What used to cause real anxiety, worry, and upset me, doesn’t make me drill down into chaos anymore. I am more like “oh well, how do I solve this?”

If you have followed my blog from the beginning, you’d know I was quite intense and energetic. I posted almost every day, and I had a lot to say. I never really planned it, but writing turned out to be my breakthrough. Writing about all those bad things, made the symptoms disappear. It was probably not the only thing happening. I am not sure. At one point I felt finished. My deep dive into bad emotions and even worse memories was done.

I have been ok since then. Almost all the time.

I am very grateful that this happened.

I started thinking about next year today. What hopes I have, what I wish for to happen. I think I will put together some new years resolutions, not like the usual ones, but some thoughts on how to grow. How to reach my goals. How to continue having control and be at peace.

Thanks for reading everyone! 🙂

So; life’s like a river. Things passes by, and we move on

myWPEdit Image

I am leaving therapy.

It has been some years. Getting ready to let go of that helping hand, is a long process. I think I decided that the time had come after summer vacation. However, I was not in a very enjoyable mood just then, returning to work, feeling the pain everywhere, from being so busy. But it was really just a bad mood. No depressions, nothing not normal about it.

So last week we decided to end treatment, or talks, as it has been lately. I have two more appointments, one in November and one just before Christmas, I think I will try to change that to after Christmas. Christmas is never a good time for me, too much family, to many memories and feelings.

I’ll get back to more thoughts on this later.

So; life’s like a river. Things passes by, and we move on