Certainly not there anymore

Few weeks back I wrote about the back-to-work-hopelessness, sitting in my office while my head and body were stuck somewhere in France. I’m not there any longer. I usually bring my breakfast to work, and I am usually so busy that by lunchtime I haven’t finished it. I rarely break for lunch…

I haven’t had inspiration or time to blog, which feels bad. I like to write, it makes me feel better, sorting my thoughts make me more focused and happy. It is work, work, work, spending time with my girls who are all grown up, and work, and PAIN. It doesn’t seem to go away. I have never cried anywhere as much as I cry when my (former gorgeous, now only evil) physiotherapist stretches my neck, head and throat muscles. I have dropped all heavy painkillers, however, missing the opportunity to go to bed a bit too drowsy and sleep for ten hours. Painkillers are no good. Not the ones that really work!

I wish I was in France. I wish my mindset was vacation mode. My boss put me on a management program, I reluctantly accepted. We had the house full of people last weekend, leaving no space to relax, and no space to talk to my husband, who is away all week. I think I continue to do things I don’t like.

Moments in between are good. When I get out exploring nature. Eating fresh cooked prawns on a 250 year old ship at sea. Meeting friends, especially my best one 😉

Being here, now, will go into my to-do-list. 😉

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4 thoughts on “Certainly not there anymore

  1. I felt the same way when we came back from over a month on the road. I was at home, listless, and with little oomph in my creative engine. I looked back at what made me feel good and communicated that first to me and, then, to my wife. We are working to bring a little of the magic home and when I go back to work.

    Take care,

    Ivon

  2. It’s so hard to return to our real lives (especially after France which is my favorite place to visit!)…and yet, before you left, you were able to find the beauty in the smallest things. Start small – like eating shrimp on an old boat, look at the leaves as they begin to suggest that a new season is around the corner. Your mojo will come back – you’re trying to find it while coping with pain – and that is a challenge in and of itself..:-)

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