I really hate it, when I get into those «if only» thoughts and regrets. Why is it so hard to accept the past, and be OK with it? Guess that’s the essence of it all. It’s no problem to see that what happened to me was so wrong. I guess I used a few years just accepting that it happened. And a few years trying to find ways out of it.
Sometimes I think I have found it, the way out, and some days it is just lost again. Some days there are things that trigger feelings and memories, which I wish to be gone forever.
Some days I need help to see things in perspective.
I try to meditate, I try to live by all the mindfulness ideas, and know that it helps. But some days are just different.
I wish I could put all of these feelings in a bin bag, tie it up and throw it away. Never to be seen again.
Please leave. Now.