We cannot let go of the pain, we have to carry it with us forever. That is what it means to live.

Cover of "Triage"

Cover of Triage

I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie. It’s called Triage, and is about a photojournalist going to Kurdistan, to work. He and his best friend go together, on a quite horrible trip to the war zone. When he gets back, something is not quite right, and eventually, he meets the grandfather of his wife, who has dealt with this kind of trouble before.

‘We cannot let go of the pain, we have to carry it with us forever. That is what it means to live’, he says. ‘Now, I can help you to live with this pain’.

And he does. It is a very tough and touching movie. Recommend it!

Listening to that wise old man saying this, made me think. I actually wanted to play back to find the correct words, but found it on the web instead.

What is done, is done. We always carry our experiences with us somehow. Sometimes we expect too much of friends and others we are around every day. We expect understanding, forgiveness maybe, compassion, but so many times, we find ourselves alone with our feelings and hurt.

What you can change is the way to cope with those feelings. It happened. How many more years is going to be spent inside those feelings, so alone?

I have written before about flashbacks and PTSD, and all the other dreadful things that follow. I’m not sure if I can ever live (happily ever after) without expecting flashbacks to reappear. If what it takes is ‘to live with this pain’, it’s ok. I’ll be fine. I’ve found a way to make it less painful.

I cannot make it undone, however hard I should try.

4 thoughts on “We cannot let go of the pain, we have to carry it with us forever. That is what it means to live.

  1. You are on a tough journey, but gees you are doing a great job. We do all have pain. We have scars both physical and mental. But it is possible for life to become bearable, and hopefully even more. For it to become amazing, to where we forget about the pain most of the time. We are made up of everything that has happened to us and through us during our lives, but we still have the capacity to learn what we need to do to get closer to how we need things to be. thank you for sharing that!

  2. Living with the pain — exactly what my T is trying to get me to do when it comes to depression. Accept it. Deal with it. Don’t fight it because the more you do the more it is clinging on. A lot of people don’t agree with that philosophy but personally I think it’s helped me! Inspiring post – thank you. B

  3. Thanks for this post. I learned to deal with troubling past issues as well as current difficulties by remembering to recite the serenity prayer. It is comforting because it helps me to focus on what I can fix, and not focus on what I can’t fix. .

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